Solitude Part Six

Southwest flight specials brought me back to Detroit for a birthday party for Nick Parker, a friend of ours from high school and college, in early July. Mason was there, and I was hopeful that he would indeed “come around”. But he effectively ignored me, and then left without a word goodbye, splattering what was left of my heart in the street underneath his size 14 shoes. And the jacked-up part about it was that no one noticed.
It’s now mid-August and the only thing that’s come around are my bills and my period. I began to reflect on what once was. Face the reality of my situation, Mason was gone and was not coming back. My world, my livelihood has gone awry and I am nothing but a glimmer of my former self.
And who was I? Mason’s girl. The nameless female at his side at every dinner, dance, and ceremony. I got so wrapped up in him that I’d lost myself. My very existence was squashed by his greatness. My love for him blinded me; that writing on the wall was real and had probably been there for years. But like the residents of a neighborhood filled with graffiti, I knew it was there, but I ignored it. Until now.
He said he loved me. But he loved his ideal of me. What he thought I should be. When I no longer lived up to it, if ever, that’s where the problems began. I never really had his acceptance of me nor his support. I stare at the writing, now boldly written, italicized and underlined and begin to cry for the umpteenth time. Hot tears burn my face like lava; I can’t believe I was so stupid, I don’t know who I am anymore. But, these tears are for a different reason; not because he left me, but because he beat me to it.
I tear through my tiny southwest DC studio apartment; it’s time to cut him out of my life and start anew. I’m in a rage, tearing down his pictures, stuffing every gift he gave me into a box, trying to cleanse my home, my heart, and my spirit of the very thing that drained it out of me over five years ago. I throw the box in the dumpster. I am all cried out, like Lisa Lisa was over the Cult Jam. I have shed my last tear and had my last pity party over Mason Andrews. I am no longer Mason’s girl. I will no longer be the nameless female by his side. I am Evan Martin and I will be moving on.

THAT CONCLUDES THE PROLOGUE TO WILD OATS. PLEASE STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER UPDATES ON THE NOVEL, SCHEDULED FOR RELEASE DECEMBER 2010. THE PROLOGUE WILL BE AVAILABLE FOR DOWNLOAD UNTIL SEPTEMBER 30, 2010 AT https://www.createspace.com/Preview/1070200

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